Quick note and this time it’s more like Admin’s (my) trivia: I am having a really hard time right now.
I’m physically okay (well, except a nagging physical complaint which is likely stress-triggered and which I am currently treating — not COVID, at least) and housed and fed so it’s not as bad as all that. Just, twenty years’ worth of pretty rank baggage has finally come to a head. I am SO fucking done with a certain situation. Like, way beyond done. Like, I am about to do what I really didn’t want to do until next year and relocate. It’s that bad and I need to get away from the stress before it kills me. And at my age, in the range where random bad health shit starts suddenly happening, it just might.
I am not at my best at times like this, and my kiddo is not used to seeing me this freaked out, so if you could spare her a kind thought or three, I’d really appreciate it.
The site will continue and I will continue to maintain it as I get around to maintaining it. This will be a huge change for me and a test of my mental flexibility, which used to be fairly high but seems to have ossified a bit over the last two decades. Whee!
I did ask for this relocation, in fact I insisted on it and the other responsible party was actually surprised. Not sure why he thought I would continue in this situation putting up with him, but I suppose that’s his problem. He’s at least being a gentleman in one sense and will help me transition over to standing on my own two feet, so that’s something.
Kiddo becomes an adult next year and I really think that with some PHYSICAL distance between her parents, ultimately she’ll be fine.
I think we in this situation all will be. I think this was long overdue and we’ll all be happier in the long run.
It’s just going through this now that’s got me topsy-turvy. Remember what I said about if I’m gone for more than a month? I don’t think we’ll have to worry much about that, but it could be a possibility at some point. So I am making you aware. We all know my improvements and additions here are sporadic at the best of times anyway.
I said this would be brief? Eh. Sorry. Rory’s a recluse, I overshare. It is what it is. Anyway, there you go.