Administrivia: 24 April 2022

So, it’s that time of year again…

I wonder if Rory took part in the Glasgow Kiltwalk today. Possibly not, may have been too people-y or might have clashed with other plans, but seeing that the shorter version also happening today started at Loch Lomond, and I know he hangs out there, it made me think of him.

And none of us fangirls need telt which tartan he’d have been wearing…

My creativity is tapped lately so I’ve made no new memes or anything, not that I’ve ever been a big meme-maker in the first place. I’m sure you can find them all over Instagram today and some will be downright lovely. But I thought I’d do a bit of an image dump. I still have my old screencaps from the Instagram days. Forgive me, as I haven’t cropped them all.

Rory McCann in indie short Jack 'n' Jill
Jack in indie short Jack ‘n’ Jill
Rory McCann in Coming Soon
Angus in Coming Soon
Rory McCann in The Book Group
Kenny McLeod in The Book Group
Rory McCann in Alexander
Craterus in Alexander
Rory McCann in Beowulf and Grendel
Breca in Beowulf and Grendel
Rory McCann in Sixty-Six
Annoyed Scottish cop in Sixty-Six
Rory McCann in Hot Fuzz
Michael “Lurch” Armstrong in Hot Fuzz
Rory McCann in The Crew
Moby in The Crew
Rory McCann in Game of Thrones
…If you need me to tell you who this character is, go soak your head
Rory McCann in Slow West
John Ross in Slow West
Rory McCann in xXx: The Return of Xander Cage
Tennyson Torch in xXx: The Return of Xander Cage
Rory McCann in Jumanji: The Next Level
Jurgen the Brutal in Jumanji: The Next Level
Rory McCann in The Irregulars
Arthur “Bird Man” Hilton in The Irregulars

…And I hope to capture many, many more.

Happy Burfday, big man. 💙🤍💚

Administrivia: 22 April 2022

I don’t know how many of you are aware of this, but one of Rory McCann’s hobbies is making sloe gin. I feel like I had heard of the drink in passing, years before I saw him mention it in an interview I read, but after I found out he makes it I of course wanted to see what it was all about. These days I don’t know if gin is as popular with most Americans as it might have been a century or two ago, at least not with — say — the middle-middle class and below. We’re more about beer, I think, and maybe whisk(e)y, and definitely “girly” drinks like daquiris and margaritas. And sometimes wine, especially from a box. ANYWAY. So I haven’t had much to do with gin, basically ever.

Anyway, it turns out that a sloe is a type of bush fruit, and it’s native to Europe. I think it’s been grown here in the USA too but it doesn’t seem to be all that popular, and no wonder: the raw fruit is pretty astringent-tasting, from what I understand, and many people don’t like that. But I suppose juniper berries probably don’t taste nice either and then they flavor gin with those, so.

Fresh sloes not being in ready supply on this side of the pond, it occurred to me the other day to check and see if you could buy them dried.

Yes indeed, you can.

So from there it was a simple matter of wondering whether one could manufacture sloe gin in one’s kitchen utilizing the dried sloes instead of fresh ones.

Guess what.

I have no idea how Rory would feel about someone attempting to make the drink in this fashion. Some people are purists about this sort of thing. But it’s not like you can really buy the stuff pre-bottled. Sometimes you just have to make do.

Anyway, if I ever try this it’ll be with a sugar substitute, which ought to really horrify him properly.

And finally, I know nothing about gin but supposedly this is a good one. Google is your friend if you need to find a different brand. Talking with the proprietor of a decent-quality liquor store will also be helpful if you are more sociable than I am, but it’s still nice to have different opinions to cross-reference and look for common elements, brand names mentioned multiple times. It beats buying cheap shit that tastes nasty. Still buy a smaller bottle over a larger one if you can at all help it because you might not even like the good stuff — but keep in mind you’ll be sweetening it anyway and the sloes will add their own flavor, so that may not matter.

Look at me offering advice on something I haven’t even tried yet. The pathetic bit is if I’d stayed in No Longer House Male’s house, I’d have probably run to the store already. One of these days I’ll attempt it. In fact that’s one reason I wrote this post, so I can come back to it for reference later.

Administrivia: 21 April 2022

Okay, domain’s good for another year. Haw haw haw.

Also stopped using domain privacy, there’s no point. But don’t send weird mail, or any mail, to the whois address. It needs updating. You will only confuse a random stranger.

Administrivia: 20 April 2022

Well, here we are four days out and I’ve sent nothing to the big man. It’s not a big deal. I asked myself why I was doing it in the first place anyway. I mean, there’s nothing wrong in general with wanting to send someone a birthday card. But…

1) Our dude doesn’t know me from Eve. Getting birthday cards from strangers if you’re just Private Q. Citizen would be weird enough. I can’t imagine having become famous does much to mitigate the weirdness.

I hope he got a good laugh out of the first one I sent him, though (the card itself… I’m afraid I talked his eyeballs off, and it was all very boring), so I’m not sorry I sent it. I could take or leave the second one, honestly.

2) I don’t send anyone else birthday cards regularly except my daughter, and at this point I’m not sure how much longer that will be a thing given that her next birthday later this year is her 18th (legal adulthood in the United States) and there’s bad blood at this point (it’s complicated, there’s no way for me to explain it without [a] making this site too much about me and I do that too much already and [b] someone misconstruing something I’ve said and making huge drama out of it, and that’s if I even still have any serious readers following along) AND either she and her dad won’t live in that house forever or she won’t live with him forever and no one tells me anything anymore in the first place, much less about address changes. I mean he took her out of state at least twice after I moved South, not a word to me, not an explanation (they did not go places I would have expected, such as to visit his parents), and she had some semi-big-deal medical stuff come up and I didn’t hear shit about that either (I still have access to her online medical info, legally, is the only reason I know — that’s where her trips out of state were mentioned too). So it’ll shape up real quick to being me not sending birthday cards to anyone. Because I am daft and I forget this shit even with the people I’m on good terms with. So making a point of sending a card to a total stranger every year with all this other going on is a bit weird.

(An example of the weirdness I had to contend with from her father: when I brought all of this up in one of our rare face-to-face meetings since February, he said he wasn’t leaving me out on purpose. Oh, well, that’s okay then, it’s all right to never hear about my child since you didn’t mean it. This wasn’t the first time I’d left the state in response to his egregious behavior, either; last time she was with me and barely a year old, and I did tell him what was going on with her. We spoke frequently. This is the first time in her entire life that I’ve left her with him and this is how he plays it. But I should be okay with it because it’s all an “accident.” Sure. Okay. Moving on.)

3) I can’t remember ever having had a real handle on my finances, maybe when I was in the Army but barely even then, and have even less of one now because everything is still so unsettled. So one day I might seriously consider sending something through the mail, the next I’m wondering if I’ll be able to keep gas in the car long enough to earn more. Cannot make writing things to total strangers a priority in those circumstances. Postage and cards cost money and I got rid of my cardmaking supplies months ago (no room in the car). Just the way it is.

So hey, the site’s still here. There’s that. There’s a faint possibility it may disappear for two days but only faint. Depends on how item 3 in previous paragraph plays out over the next six days. Sigh.

4) When I send things to my dude — just the two cards at this point — I send them to London, to his agent’s address. I strongly suspect he hates London and doesn’t spend much time there if he can at all avoid it. I don’t know if his agency forwards his mail or if he has to go to London to get it and if the latter, I doubt he goes often. So even if this whole thing weren’t weird as hell I’d have to ask if he ever even gets his fan mail at this point, or when he gets it versus when it arrived. I have no idea how any of that plays out. A while back, a workaround occurred to me where I could increase the chances that he’d actually see what I sent, but the viability of it would depend on several other factors still being in play, and I don’t know anything about any of that because big man’s life might as well carry a Top Secret clearance. It is what it is. So I have not attempted the workaround and I will not spell it out for you either. Best left alone.


It’s all okay, really. His agent suggests including a self-addressed, stamped envelope (no international reply coupon) when you write to him, and I deliberately did not do that and actually I’m not sure I even put my full name on the return address, because I felt a bit silly with everything and so I just wanted to say my piece and send a funny/cool thing to acknowledge his birthday and then move on. So even if he would have written back to say “oh hey, I hate London, I don’t get your mail til way late” — and he did at one point respond to his fan mail — he wouldn’t have been able to. And at this point, even if he absolutely is still a confirmed bachelor with a lot of shit going on — even when he’s not at work, and he’s had a lot of work post-Game of Thrones for someone who is not ranked a top-tier actor by the establishment — obviously he’s going to be busy, and if he’s married he will be even more busy. I never thought I was going to get a pen-pal out of this; I’m surprised I got any response from that camp at all and it was to this site and the social media, not anything I wrote to him directly. What’s already happened alone would make for fun stories for the grandkids one day, if I thought I’d be getting any grandkids. I’m not sure I could cope with anything more. I certainly wouldn’t feel I could talk about it here. None of you would believe me. Haha.


Am still trying to sort out the whole job thing. I’m more than half convinced at this point that the rich and powerful are mostly insane. It feels a bit like the universe pushing me into just doing my own thing instead of going begging for someone else to find me worthy enough to pay me shit wages for shit work. And I’m not against doing shit work. Someone has to do it, I just wish society wouldn’t keep trying to re-enact the Hindu caste system when India itself has banned it. It doesn’t work, folks. It just causes a lot of resentment and social unrest. If you don’t want to do the job yourself then appreciate whoever is willing to do it for you.

But anyway. It feels like I spend a lot of my time waiting. Even delivery driving is waiting because the actual work takes just a few minutes on either end (assuming the restaurant is not screwing around — lookin’ at you, McDonald’s, what the actual fuck? — and the customer understands how their own apartment building’s entry code system works and has their building number displayed properly — again, what the actual fuck?) and the rest of it is just traveling around listening to the same 300 songs on my playlist day after day. But if I don’t put in the time I don’t get the money, which means time I could be using to improve my situation is being wasted along with my gasoline and my car’s general condition. I had banked on only having to deliver for maybe a couple months at best. Well, here we are at the couple-months mark, more like two and a half, and nada. I got an email from the parent company for one of my gig temp agencies today asking how my “assignment” was going. Dude, don’t ask me. They said the hours were gone and then I stopped hearing from them. This week I’m waiting to hear about two interviews I had last week for actual jobs, not temp assignments… and nada. One may still be a faint possibility, and if I get it I will be in pain for a while because it’s all physical labor. (Like I said, I’m not against doing shit work.) The other, the manager said I’d hear from him by today. His store closes at 10pm daily, but somehow I don’t think it will go that late. If I don’t hear from him by 5 I’m writing that one off. Unless he calls on a later day than he anticipated, but I don’t see that happening.

So I have to figure this out. It would be easier to schedule my time for things like getting training done if the delivering were consistent hours with consistent income. Alas.

I tell myself Rory very likely went through similar shit, but worse because he didn’t even have the gig economy to fall back on. One of the things I like about him is I can look at him and go, “Oh hey… You’re one of us [working class] and you got out.” I have zero desire to be an actress and I never had that inner compass that said I wanted to be a definite thing in life. He did, and maybe that’s why he made it out. I would be happy with just being more stable, at this point. On my own. We’ll see.

Administrivia: 14 April 2022

A few quick thoughts.

Part the first:


If you’re guilty, you know why I am saying this. (If you aren’t, don’t worry about it.)

Thanks in advance.

Part the second:

I need to just quit saying “I have work coming up.” I don’t until I actually do. Good developments in that vein again today and tomorrow, but no guarantee of outcome. Literally, I arrived at the workplace I had mentioned being scheduled for in my previous post only to see a text from the temp agency going “Wait! There’s no job there now!”, basically. I spent a couple days, that one and the next, moping. It was pretty bad.

Good thoughts/vibes/whatever would be appreciated that things improve soon. I’m managing, but I wish I could manage differently.

Part the third:

I wasn’t sure whether to lead with this, but then follow it up with the useless trivia above, or to save it for last as I wound up doing and then feel like I led off with useless trivia, but remember Tracey Emin? Yeah, she’s been having a rough go of it the past two years, having been diagnosed with bladder cancer most of two years ago. Finding that out just now immediately made me think of Kerry McGregor who played Carol Ann, Kenny McLeod’s first girlfriend within the timeline of The Book Group. McGregor also had bladder cancer and passed away of it ten years ago. In her case she had had stomach pains as her only real warning symptom; I’m not sure, but I think she had some paralysis following the accident which had originally put her in her wheelchair (from what I understand, she still had partial ability to stand and maybe walk), so maybe the pain signals got misrouted? Emin did not have that issue and so I suspect they caught hers a lot earlier in its development. But this is just one of those bizarre coincidences that can have you quietly freaking out a little.

McGregor was born the same year as me, and Emin’s older than Rory by several years. Not quite the same age as Annie Griffin, I don’t think, but probably pretty close.

Anyway. I should get to bed soon. Interview tomorrow. It isn’t massively early but I like to have a good head start. Ni ni.